5 Common Mistakes People With Aging Parents Make

1. Avoiding the discussion of alternative living arrangements for your parents.

It is important to be proactive concerning this! It is so much easier and less confrontational to start this process early and often. If you start early having discussions about options and choices, you can be much more low key about it.

If you wait until after Mom has fallen and broken her hip, the pressure is on and the emotions are high. At that point you are pressed for time to find answers quickly.

2. Being in the dark about your parents financial situation.

Know whether or not they have a long term care policy. If so, you should know where it is and make sure it's easily accessible. Also, take some time to read through it so you know what it does and does not cover.

If your parents do not have long term care in place, do you know what other financial resources are available if needed? Perhaps a visit with a lawyer to talk about Medicaid eligibility and spend down rules would be worthwhile. And if one of your parents is a Veteran, see if they are eligible to get coverage for certain services.

3. Automatically thinking "nursing home" when one or both parents health starts to fail.

There are no shortage of options around these days. If your parent is resolute about staying in their own home, it is very possible to arrange for care there.

There are also ways to be very creative about combining several modalities of care. For instance, a family might have their father go to adult day care several times a week during the day, then have a caregiver stay over nights and family members supplement the other times if needed. The possibilities are endless to customize a plan that is just right for your situation.

4. Not getting help until the last minute.

This is a big one. If you wait until Mom is schedule to come home tomorrow from a hospital stay, it will be extremely difficult to make good, rational decisions in such a short time. Trying to develop a good plan of care under such stress will be overwhelming.

My advice is to do your homework sooner rather than later. It's never too early to start to search out a few agencies or facilities, find ones you are comfortable with and start building a relationship with them. You can even arrange a visit for you and/or your parents to a facility or have someone come to your home for an assessment. This way, if an emergency occurs, you'll be reaching out to people you are comfortable with and are familiar with your loved one and their situation.

5. Looking at cost alone when deciding on care.

This can go both ways. There are very expensive nursing home facilities that have very poor track records of care. Don't be swayed by fancy brochures, videos or tours. Try and talk to some of the actual residents and their loved ones.

As for home care, be very careful about choosing the "cheapest" hourly rate. Remember that good caregivers demand to be paid more. Good homehappinesslifetime.com care agencies cannot offer the best caregivers AND be the cheapest. Also ask to meet and approve of any caregiver before they start care.

Theanna Zika started heavenlyhelpers.net Saint Louis home care company, Heavenly Helpers, in 2004. She shares tips, strategies and advice about caring for seniors that she has learned over the years on the blog at her company's website. The site also features a helpful list of tinyurl.com/y2sezl3 Saint Louis senior resources for seniors and their families in the Saint Louis Metro area.