Seniors, just like children frequently reject offers for assistance. They want to let you know they can do a task without your help, thank you very much. With Seniors, other issues come into play as well. Issues tied to feeling a sense of shame having to ask for help, not wanting to bother others, or even fears that you'll put them into a home come into play.
Here are 9 ways to greatly improve the chances that your offers for assistance will be accepted. Of course some will take some work, but if you stick with it, you'll likely end up having success and having a happier elder on your hands.
1. Use a complaint from your senior about not being able to hear or see as well as they use to to your advantage. Ask Questions!
By asking questions like "Boy, that must cause a problem reading the box scores from last nights baseball games, eh?", or something similar. This way, you aren't telling them that you think they have a problem, you are letting them describe it for you.
2. If you think you are going to get into a situation where you'll be needing outside help, do a lot of research before you bring it up.
You are going to want to include your elder in any decisions about there care, but you are going to want to guide the discussion in the direction you want to go in. Having information from various local agencies, community services available in your elder's area, along with web sites for them to take a look at is a great way to get them to see that having assistance isn't all bad. Don't expect them to be on board right away, but give them some time to digest the information you provide to them.
3. When offering assistance, tread lightly and don't come across like you are "taking over."
Let's face it. No one likes being told what to do or that what you say is how it's going to have to go. I can't stress it enough - allow your elder to offer input into their care. Make sure that most of the decisions are coming from your elder and not you.
4. When your elder makes it very clear they don't want to discuss your offer of assistance, end the discussion and bring it up another day.
Continue the discussion only when it is a matter of heath or safety.
5. Focus discussions on how getting assistance will actually allow them to continue to be independent.
For example, explain how having someone help them do their weekly grocery shopping will allow them to remain in their home without having to have someone come in and cook or deliver meals for them.
6. When having trouble getting your elder to understand the need for them to have assistance, enlist the help of a doctor, clergy or trusted friend.
This almost always works because your elder will likely trust and respect what these people have to say. It will work to validate what you've already said.
7. Never make your elder feel like they are a burden.
One of the easiest way to do this is to discuss outside help you've hired as someone that is going to help you with your work. Never discuss outside help as "someone that is going to help take care of you." That makes the elder seem like a burden, or even a small child. How you phrase things can make a big difference.
8. Turn a need of theirs into a way to help you.
A great example of this is that you can say "that you went to the local Sam's and bought some light bulbs, but as you may know, I had to buy a lot of them in order to get a great price. I'll never been able to use them all myself, so could you take some off my hands?" Of course, you'll have done this on purpose and will have purchased higher wattage bulbs to replace the lower wattage bulbs in their home. This way, your elder gets the satisfaction of helping you.
9. Ask them for advice.
This is another example of making your elder feel great while also helping deal with an issue you feel may become something your elder will have to deal with in the not too distant future.
For example, ask them what you should do about a situation where a neighbor of yours has been having some vision problems and that you are concerned that they are still driving. Ask your elder what they think the best way would be to handle this delicate issue.
Hal has been writing articles online since 2005. Not only does he specialize in elder care issues, he also maintains a number of informative web sites as well. You can check out his latest website on sewingmachineforsale.org Sewing Machine For Sale featuring sewingmachineforsale.org/Portable-Sewing-Machines.html Portable Sewing Machines
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