Considering adoption can be overwhelming & confusing. Should I adopt from foster care, international adoption or private US adoption? It can seem overwhelming to have to choose and the answer for each family will be different. Information to help you decide which path is right for your family. Orphans, no matter where they are from, need a loving family - are you willing to be that family?
Adopting from Foster Care
Why adopt from Foster Care:
There are 115,000 children available for adoption in the foster care system. (Number quoted is from Adopt Us Kids)
The requirements are often very flexible. You do not have to be married and whether or not you already have children does not matter. Your race, sex, and sexual preference (homosexual or not) does not matter. You can have many different medical conditions and still be a wonderful foster/adoption parent. (International adoption often bars those with medical conditions.) It does not cost much, if any money, to adopt from foster care. The training, home study & legal fees are usually paid by the state. If you do have to pay anything out-of-pocket, you will get reimbursed when you file your taxes by taking the adoption tax credit. (Visit IRS for more details) Children from foster care may come with monthly stipends (older children or those with special needs) to assist you with covering their expenses. For some children, this money will continue to be available, even after you have adopted them. These children are often also available for free college tuition (at a state school).
You can adopt children from your own state or from out-of-state. Children are often posted on websites, such as AdoptUsKids.org
How to get started - contact your state's Department of Family & Protective Services.
Things to consider about Foster Care:
You can choose to foster-to-adopt. Which means, you will have a child placed in your home as a foster child. The child will be in the process of being declared available for adoption. You will have an opportunity to have the child in your home before you make a final decision to adopt or not. The downside is, there is a small chance after the child is placed in your home that the birth family may choose to take the child back. This window of opportunity for the birth family is small - usually 6 months or so. Once that period is over, the child can not be taken from you. You will need to talk to your social worker to learn more about the individual circumstances of your child. Children were removed from their families and often come from abusive backgrounds. Children may have been physically, emotionally or sexually abused. Children may have been exposed to alcohol or drugs while in the womb. An excellent book to help you parent these children is "Parenting the Hurt Child" by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky. Only 3% of children in foster care are less than one year old. The odds of getting a baby are slim. 60% of children in foster care are over 6 years old. 60% of children are minority. (Numbers quoted are from the Adoption Institute)
Private U.S. Adoptions
Why adopt from private adoption:
Parents choose to give up their child for adoption and often pick out the family for their child. These adoptions are often through profit and non-profit agencies. You may also go through an adoption attorney. If you would like a newborn, this is often the only way to add a newborn to your family. Most private adoptions are for children under 6 months of age. Many times, the adoptive parents will be able to bring their baby home from the hospital. More information is available about the child. You will likely know information about the birth family, including medical history. More choice - you have a greater say in choosing your child. (In international adoption, a social worker will choose your child for you & you can only decline them if they have significant medical conditions.)
Things to consider about Private Adoption:
Private adoptions are not cheap. The price will vary depending on the agency you use, but are usually between $10,000 - $20,000. Also, these fees may vary greatly based on the circumstances such However, do not forget about the adoption tax credit from IRS. You may qualify to have a tax credit of up to $13,000. You will usually know who the birth parents are and they will (usually) know who you are. The birth mother is often the one who picked you! You will have the option of keeping in contact with the birth mother/family (an "open adoption"). Birth mothers can change their mind. However, this is governed by law & will be determined by the state that you live in. Most states limit it from the day the child is born up to 30 days later. You may not get to choose the gender. You may be matched with a child that is not born yet & the gender is unknown.
Adopting Internationally
Why adopt Internationally:
There are 143 million orphans in the world. (Number by Unicef)
You can pick the country you adopt from & your child's ethnicity. The most popular countries for adoptions are (listed in order) - China, Ethiopia, Russia, South Korea, Guatemala, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, Kazakhstan, India. (Source - US State Department)
You may be able to choose their gender. Each country has different rules on this issue, but many will let you state a preference. If you already have a child, this may impact whether or not you can specify gender.
You can request a certain age. While newborns are unheard of in international adoption, it is possible to get a child under 1 or older. Most children will be closer to 1 by the time the are brought home, if you request a baby. There are many toddlers and younger children available (as well as older children).
Very unlikely, if not impossible, that a child once he/she is matched with you will be taken back by the birth family.
Things to consider about International Adoption:
It is expensive. No way around this - the costs are usually around $20,000 - $40,000 or more. You will pay for your agency, your home study, training, the orphanage donation to the foreign country, travel costs and more. However, for many people, the cost may be a deciding factor. If you decide this is the right option, there are many ways to raise the funds, including refinancing your home, no interest adoption loans, an extra part-time job, gifts from family & friends, fundraisers with your church, etc. There is a tax credit of up to $13,000 from IRS and many grants available.
Choose your adoption agency carefully. Some agencies are only out to make a profit, others are out to help children find a permanent home. Talk with others who have adopted using your agency. Research the agency on bbb.org/us/Find-Business-Reviews Better Business Bureau. Join adoption groups online & see what others are saying about the agency.
International affairs can greatly impact your adoption. A country that may be open for adoption today could change their laws tomorrow. Countries change their requirements for adoptive parents & this could interrupt your adoption plans. Visit adoption.state.gov adoption.state.gov/ for more information about international adoption.
This will usually be a closed adoption. You may know very little if anything about the birth family. You may not have any medical history about the child or their birth family. Sometimes, the child's birthdate is just a guess.
The requirements for international adoption are very strict. If you have medical or mental conditions, you may not be allowed to adopt. If you have too many children, weigh too much, have too many divorces, or even single or homosexual, some countries will not allow you to adopt. Each countries requirements vary, with China being one of the strictest and countries in Africa often more lenient.
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ADOPT FROM:
There are 143 million orphans in the world. You can choose to make it 143 million - 1.
As you begin this process, be sure and talk with families who have adopted. If you do not know of anyone who has adopted, contact an adoption agency and ask for references. Some churches have orphan/adoption ministries where those who have adopted get together for support. They would love to have you join them and ask questions. Also, the internet is full of families who blog about their adoption. You can "follow" their blogs and see what they experience. One family you can follow is the Redden family as they adopt a special needs little girl from China. whenlovebringsyoutome.blogspot.com whenlovebringsyoutome.blogspot.com/
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