Sex is Not a Four Letter Word

'Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word' is the title of a newsletter that came home from school recently and I was not sure what to make of it, especially when my 8 year old asked me what it meant? As a parent are you ever really ready for "that" question?

The letter was inviting parents to a talk at the school about how to talk to children about sex. This can be something some parents are open to and others not so much, therefore it was completely voluntary. How old should your child be to hear about the meaning of sex? Every parent knows their child best and knows when their child is ready. We felt that our daughters should hear about all the facts by someone who was trained to teach and then answer any questions they had after the talk.

 Before talking to your children about sex here are some points that were outlined in the talk:

o    Use the correct words for the body parts.

o    It's ok if your child looks around as the talk happens ~ they will only take in what they can comprehend.

o    Talk to them afterwards and ask if they have any questions.  They may be embarrassed about it so talking in the car could be a good idea as then they are able to avoid eye contact.

o    The fact that they know about sex is grown up and personal. This information should not be talked about to others in the playground or with company.

o    Sex at this age/stage can be explained by simply saying - it's for making babies.

Remember that as parents if you don't know an answer or feel that it is not a good time to talk to your child about a question that they have asked, it's ok to say that you will get back to them with an answer. Just make sure that you do follow through.

There will be more questions later on after your child has had a chance to think and absorb, just be honest with your child.

Both our daughters sat and listened to the presentation. Our eldest sat up right and you could almost see her taking it all in as she hardly moved through out the entire presentation, but our youngest daughter looked around the room at times and even played with her friend's hair. Normally I would reach over and ask her to pay attention but remembered that every child when they feel overwhelmed with information would be easily distracted.

We left the presentation and neither of our daughters wanted to talk or ask any questions about it as we walked home and I was ok with that, I explained that at any time if they did have questions either their father or I would be happy to answer any questions that they had.

Later that evening our 6 year old asked "Mummy have you and Daddy ever had sex?" At first I was taken back, had she understood anything that was talked about? "Well what do you think" I replied. Our 8 year old got off her stool put her hands on her hips stood in front of her sister and said "Of course they have! They have done it twice!"...really at this point do they need to know anymore?

~Recommended books:

The Care and Keeping of You, the Body Book for Girls.  By Valerie Lee Schaefer

Informative and age-appropriate, this full-color guide answers all the questions preteen girls have about their bodies.

Where did I come From?   By Peter Mayle

The facts of life without any nonsense and with illustrations.

It's so Amazing.    By Robie H Harris

A book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies and families.

What's the Big Secret?   By Mark Brown

Talking about sex with girls and boys.

Speaking of Sex.   By Meg Hickling

What your children need to know and when they need to know it.

Karen Hughes is the owner of Almost as Good as Mum Nanny Agency in Vancouver Canada. With over 20 years experience as a professional in the childcare field, Karen Hughes has the expertise at her finger tips when it comes to finding the right childcare for families. Karen started her 8 year career as a Nanny in the UK, working for many different families. Now with her own Nanny Agency she has successfully placed over 175 nannies with happy families. Find out more at almostasgoodasmum.com almostasgoodasmum.com