A couple of years ago, I went for an interview for an agency job, to be a temporary van driver - I came out of that interview as the MD's chauffeur! Turned out he had lost his licence for speeding.
"Interesting job", I thought, and it was! I smiled, I think, for the rest of the week before I started. During the time I spent as a chauffeur, a short 6 months, I did some very interesting things and met some interesting and amazing people. I am going to share some of these moments with you.
The car I drove was a big shiny black Audi - a ?50,000 car! I drove a ?500 car at the time, and I knew I hadn't a hope of driving anything like that any time soon - I had just lost everything I had (its a long story soon to be explored in another article). It was plush, it was supremely comfortable, it was very fast and smooth, it was mine ALL mine! Well okay it was his, but it felt like it was mine! Occasionally I would get to take it home and on those occasions I would take it to friend's houses, and take them for a spin, and they were all blown away... they thought I had the greatest job!
Anyway... about being a chauffeur! My boss turned out to be a guy I was at school with, a tall, arrogant, narcissist with zero dress sense. He was not a nice man, but he was THE man. He had lots of money and I guess he figured he owned the world, or HIS world at least.
The hours weren't good. Starting at around 8am, I was often not home until 8 or 9pm. I didn't mind this, as I had not met my beautiful wife then. I was also at his beck and call in the evening and at weekends...using me for dropping him at and picking him up from the pub! Chauffeuring - my glamorous job!
I remember telling him I'd met a woman, in a conversation in the car - he wasn't happy, I now had a social life! Shame! But then 2 weeks later when I told him I was going to marry her, I got a stream of verbal abuse. His attitude to women was - use them and lose them!!
We had many conversations in the car, or at least I tried. I soon learnt that as a chauffeur, you listen but don't talk. When I wasn't listening to him berating his business partner, or telling me what he thought of certain girls in the office, I was listening to HIS favourite radio station - 5 Live - or I was listening to him snore!! Most interesting though, I got to listen to his phone conversations, and as most journeys were long ones, I got to see just what sort of a person he was - conniving, plotting, shamelessly playing both sides of the coin, almost a business pirate. I guess that's why he was such a success - if he wanted it he got it, regardless of what got damaged on the way! I'm glad I'm not that way - but then I'm not as rich and successful - but I'd rather be me and be happy with myself. Richard Branson, however, has shown us that you can be a nice, genuine guy and still be hugely successful.
Guess you've figured out by now that I didn't have much time for my boss. The one thing I am grateful to him for though, is for teaching me not just to respect myself as a person, but also others - I so didn't want to end up like him! There is one other thing - the places I went to that I never would have otherwise and the people I met along the way.
I would be here forever, if I recounted ALL of the people and ALL of the places, so I will just take you through what I see as "the best of the rest".
My job took me all over England, from Newcastle Upon Tyne to Southampton. Frequently we would go to London - he had a client on Oxford Street - and inbetween dropping him off and picking him up, I would often have several hours in which to "amuse myself". Although a naturally inquisitive explorer, the first time I took him there I had no idea what to do and didn't want to be too far away when I got the pick up call. So I walked up and down Oxford Street, visited Primark, and Park Lane and went and lay down in Hyde Park and read a book whilst watching the world go by. Bliss!! Monopoly... I could almost do the whole board!
As I got used to the job and timings, I began to explore further, slipping down side roads and the like. I found a road full of guitar shops and as I neared the end of that road, I found myself in the West End and toured the theatres (I love guitars and I love acting). The next time that we went I did a tour of London, literally taking in all of the tourist spots - Oxford Street, Mayfair, Park Lane, Regent Street, Leicester Square, The Mall, Buck House, Trafalgar Square, Whitehall etc. Exciting and fun, I had the best job in the world!!!!!
Southampton - hm. An interesting adventure. He had business on a cruise ship - the biggest in Europe I believe, this thing was immense. Not only did it have its own shops, it had theatre, cinema, ball room, library, and on the upper decks it had 2 swimming pools and restaurants and night clubs and a gorgeous view of the sea!! I had never seen anything so magnificent - 21 stories of cabins etc. Lets face it I was never going to be able to take a cruise - at least not any time soon! That was a long day, arriving home at around 830pm!
Another long day was Ladies Day at Ascot. I was to pick up 2 of the ladies from the office at a motorway service station and drive them to Ascot and then afterwards onto London where they had a business meeting the next day. Black Beauty was cleaned and polished and raring to go, and the ladies were riding in back. I picked them up at 730am (leaving home around 630am). Dressed up to the nines with their fancy hats, they were happy and excited. A bottle of champagne for the journey, they giggled all the way there! I dropped them off at Ascot right on time. How wonderful to see all of the pomp and circumstance that goes with an event like this - horse drawn carriages, gentlemen in top hats and tails, ladies looking like peacocks in all manner of weird and wonderful hats! I smiled to myself - my job was so much fun, SOMETIMES.
Once I had dropped the ladies off, I had to go to another client's house (who I shall discuss in a second) to pick up some items, and return to Ascot to wait for the ladies. Well this turned out to be the most boring part of the day. In a car park with hundreds of other chauffeurs - some polishing their boss's cars others standing around chatting and smoking. With not much to do I sat and read until I could read no more. I listened to the radio, I watched the giant video screen outside the race course. They should have been out by 5pm - they came out at 7pm! Excited, bubbly and most definitely drunk, I now had to get them to London and get home for tea! I drove like a demon to get home, and finally rolled in at 1030pm with many stories to tell.
I went to many places and met many rich and famous people. I went to the home of the guy who set up MoneySupermarket.com, who is reportedly worth over ?10,000,000. This guy had Lionel Richie fly over from the USA to play his 40th birthday bash - can you imagine being able to pay that kind of money for personal party entertainment? But by far the best and nicest and most famous person I met was Rolf Harris!!!
What a man - so kind, so nice, so down to earth and very natural and funny. Although nervous, I felt very welcome in his lovely home. I met the Antipodean celebrity on several occasions and it was totally surreal. This guy was hugely famous when I was a boy - a household name - and to be sitting at his dining table and have him walk in, talk to me and make me a coffee just blew me sideways! Another time I was there, I had to stay for a few hours and he had a concert the next evening at the Royal Albert Hall. As he sat there, doing his thing, he rehearsed his songs, treating me to all my favourites... Jake the Peg, 2 Little Boys etc. Absolutely the most amazing thing that could happen to a guy who was just doing an ordinary job. He was is and always will be a huge hero of mine and I will never forget those hours I spent in his company. Thank you Rolf!
So there you go, just a few moments in my short time as a chauffeur. Chauffeuring is not for everyone - the hours are long, the company not always good, the hanging around sometimes boring, you've got to love driving and you must know how to amuse yourself - but it can also be very exciting, fun and rewarding if you get the right job. A small note for those of you who have a chauffeur - treat your driver well, and be careful what you say, they may one day decide to write about their time with you!!
With best wishes for positive life experience
Dale Preece-Kelly
More articles to see at selfhope.co.uk selfhope.co.uk
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