Clara, unmarried, childless, elderly, frail and disabled, hated the idea of moving to a nursing home. She wanted to remain in her home as long as possible but had decided that she could not afford an expensive agency caregiver. Her friends and neighbors suggested she try online advertising. Surely, lots of people find services through online lists! So that's exactly what Clara did. She posted a job for a senior caregiver online and within minutes received a reply. The next day, a well dressed, middle aged woman arrived at her door. Clara liked the woman immediately and friends and neighbors reported that she was excited to find such a perfect person to move in and help her with her daily living needs. The best part, Clara said, was the woman charged a lot less than local agencies. She was very pleased with herself at being such a smart shopper.
For the first few days, everything seemed perfect. The new caregiver was warm and friendly, a great cook and gently lifted Clara in and out of bath and bed with great care and ease. But things soon turned ugly. The woman, once friendly, became easily angered and denied Clara food and essential care. Frail and terrified of reprisal, she didn't tell her out of town family, who called often, or her neighbors who visited, that things had gone terribly wrong. One day, her next door neighbor rang Clara's front doorbell. There was no answer and no indication of movement in the house. That was unusual since the TV was usually on and blaring. Curious and also concerned, the neighbor walked around to the back of the house and peered in the window. There on the floor, lay Clara, dead.
The police determined that Clara had been dead for two days. The caregiver who was apprehended a week later, was identified as a recently released mental patient who had already been found "innocent by reason of insanity" for killing another elderly woman. For some stupid reason, she had been released from incarceration and deemed no longer a danger to society. She also had a rap sheet a mile long for felony assault as well as robbery.
Failure to spend the money on a professional caregiver was Clara's first mistake. Failure to spend the money on a background check was Clara's second.
In addition to losing her life, Clara had also procrastinated about getting her estate in order. "I've got the papers right here", she had told a family member on the phone. "I know I should have a will or trust, but it will cost $1,500 or more. I can't afford it right now. I'll do it later". So Clara died intestate - without any will or trust in place. That left her family not only with unbearable sadness but also with a costly and cumbersome probate process that ultimately cost the estate a lot more than the $1,500.
Should her family and friends be held to account? First of all, seniors can be very independent and not willing to admit they need help to family and friends. Even when they do, that doesn't mean they will take advice. Who could have predicted this terrible tragedy? Without relatives close by, it is hard for seniors to find someone whom they can trust and rely on.
Families also assume that unless they hear otherwise, all must be well. This is no longer true. In the 21st century, our lives, unlike our predecessors, are more complicated and families separated my miles. The "village" of family and friends is often shaky at best. Seniors are particularly at risk for abuse and theft. It's a dangerous world out there. In addition, we are only now learning how to adequately care for our elders, 21st century style. It's a whole new business model, filled with lots of loopholes and missing parts yet to be learned and filled. We are literally creating a model that our children will use to care for us. We better pay better attention to the details for our own sake as well.
Families should insist on trained professional care, regardless of the cost.While seniors are reluctant to spend money on themselves, there is nothing more important than their safety. Agencies do background checks, provide supervision and follow up on their employees as well as hold bonds for theft. This is the most important reason why trained professionals should be hired. This is why it costs more than hiring somebody off an online list. You get what you pay for.
So many seniors and their families are unaware of the help that is available to them. Had she hired an elder law or estate attorney, Clara would most likely have discovered that she qualified for financial aid programs due her limited income, health and her age. Elder law and care policies are complicated. Trained professionals know the ins and outs of elder law and elder services. Their expertise is truly priceless.
I think not only about Clara's last moments, but also about how it could have been. She didn't have to die in such a terrible manner and she didn't have to live in fear of running out of money either. With professional advice, she could have created a plan to hire a safe and qualified caregiver. And when the end came, her estate would have been in order. Her family, although grief stricken, would have happy memories of her life well lived and well ended.
Money isn't everything. Clara could have been saved. The sooner we all learn this important lesson, the better.
As a lighthouseorganizers.com Senior Move Manager and lighthouseorganizers.com Professional Organizer, I help my clients understand that money isn't everything.
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