Overcoming Bathing Challenges

Well, let's face it: bathing is an essential part of life, but as your older loved one continues to age, convincing them to enjoy bath time can become increasingly difficult. This may be because they are fearful of falling, embarrassment or dementia issues may cause fears of bathing.

Preparing the bath, having all necessary supplies and standing outside the bath area may be all that is required. On the other hand, you might be called up to do it ALL.

So first, let me say that it is not imperative that YOU do it all. If your loved one is not comfortable with letting you help, or if YOU are not comfortable in helping (as was the case with MY father), consider enlisting the help of a happinesslifetime.com home health care agency. Your loved one would prefer that option as well. Many agencies are willing to send a well-trained caregiver into the home for a reasonably priced shower visit. If your loved one is cognizant, sit down and have a discussion about what they would prefer. Also ask if they would prefer a shower or a bath - remember that elders of this current era were used to bathing in tubs, sometimes ones whose water was shared by several family members on a Saturday evening - the last bather, suffering the coldest water. (If you are bathing a dementia patient, this might be their memory of bathing.)

Also, let me add that bathing is not necessary every single day. If proper toileting care is done daily, baths can be done less frequently. Sponge baths may also be used.

If your elderly loved one is unstable in gait, or tires easily, there are a few pieces of equipment (s)he would probably find very helpful. The first is a grab bar. Grab bars are absolutely essential and fortunately are now available in lovely designs so that your bath doesn't look like a hospital room. Your loved one can use this to step into the shower carefully, and also to catch his/her balance. Great Grabz is a company that offers some very nice ones. (Remember: if there is NOT a grab bar, a senior will opt to use the towel rack and I guarantee you that the bar will come out eventually and your loved one will fall.)

Another essential for shower safety is the shower seat. The elder can sit down throughout the shower, or just sit down for a couple of minutes if (s)he gets tired.

An adjustable shower head is also helpful, especially if your loved one showers sitting down or if someone is helping them to bathe, but keep in mind that these adjustable showers heads may be confusing to dementia patients. Lastly, be sure the shower floor is not slick. If it is, get a textured mat to keep your older loved one from slipping.

Often, as showering becomes more difficult, the elderly may try to avoid it altogether. If your elderly loved one suffers from Alzheimer's disease or dementia, he or she may also refuse to shower. This, of course, is not a good option. Staying clean is not only important for keeping your loved one feeling good about him/herself, but hygiene is an important part of staying healthy. Sometimes, simply obtaining a "prescription" for bathing from the doctor may actually do the trick. Other times, that doesn't work. Remember to adopt a casual attitude about bathing so that the loved one does not become nervous each time the subject is brought up.

If your loved one is unable to get out of bed to shower, sponge baths are an option. Remember to have all your necessary items at the bedside before you begin (this reminds me of when I was in nursing school, was a total Klutz and forgot the soap. I had to run down the hall to get it... meanwhile the poor patient was disrobed and wet!)

If you are unsure of how to assist your loved one in the shower, or assist with a sponge bath, the American Red Cross and their partners offer a video series on caring for elderly family members, including a segment on bathing.

For those with memory loss, consistency is important. Be gentle and patient, as they may not remember having been helped with bathing before, and it could be agitating. If you are bathing them, consider keeping them covered up, aside from the body part being washed. This may help put them at ease. Also, sometimes deep water, or water splashing on the face can bother them. Be sure to pay attention to what makes them uncomfortable.

One last consideration is which products to use for your loved one's bath. If your loved one has dry skin (and most elders do at this age), be sure to use warm (not hot) water for bathing, and a gentle soap. Apply lotion after each bath to avoid itching and dryness. Look for lotions that include fatty acids, as these help keep the skin moisturized, and be sure to avoid lotions with scents as these can irritate the skin.

In addition to being necessary, bathing can and should be a refreshing, pleasant experience for your elderly loved one. By applying some of these simple ideas, you can do your part to insure it is.

Shelley Webb has been a registered nurse for almost 30 years, with experience in the fields of neonatal intensive care, dialysis, case management and eldercare. When her father came to live with her in 2005, the advantages of her medical experience became clear. Due to his dementia and congestive heart failure, her father was not able to care for himself alone any longer and so she took over these duties.

Having experienced the helplessness, frustration, overwhelm and even loneliness that caregiving for an aging parent brings, Shelley is well aware of the emotional and educational support that caregivers need and so she began The Intentional Caregiver web site. With its weekly newsletter, daily news updates and monthly audio interviews of experts in eldercare and supporting services, Shelley strives to encourage and educate caregivers so that they can be empowered to provide the best possible care for themselves while caring for their aging loved one(s).

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