A study from New York University, found that caregivers are twice as likely as non-caregivers to report physical and mental health complications. One in 3 caregivers uses medication for caregiving-related health problems and depression among caregivers is 3 times greater than for non-caregivers in their age group.
Another study compared the healing process of caregivers and non-caregivers. Caregivers and non-caregivers were given identical wounds. Caregiver's wounds took up to 24% longer to heal than non-caregivers. Caregiver's immune systems were too stressed to function efficiently.
Some of this stress stems from isolation and loneliness. Elder caregivers, whether they live in the same home as the person they care for, or in separate homes, are often so involved with the elder's needs - physical, mental and emotional - plus their jobs, homes, marriages and often growing children, they simply cannot find the time to take care of their own needs. Add that to the caregiver's drive to give the elder the best care possible for what looks like the short time he or she has left - and you get tremendous burnout. But the caregiver doesn't want to talk of burnout, for fear of sounding like a "bad" person. So he keeps it to himself. Often, the short time that was expected extends into years, and by then the caregiver is so sucked into the routine of 24/7 caregiving that she can't pull out. This self-neglect leads to a feeling of isolation and loneliness, even when the caregiver is surrounded by people.
A caregiver often feels like all she does is give. She will give and give until she is empty. Anger, often turned inward and hidden, turns into resentment. Resentment eats at the emotions of the caregiver. And the downward spiral continues, often leading to physical and emotional illness.
The simplest things can help. A couple of hours to spend bicycling, knowing that mom is being watched by a trusted friend, can help Dan feel cared for, thus breaking the downward cycle, for a time. An evening out with friends can refresh Sue enough so she can face another day without beginning it totally depleted. Duh, you say!
The problem, of course, is in the nuts and bolts. Where does this relief come from? Friends may help in emergencies, but they don't look at your day-in-day-out caregiving as an emergency. They see it as your life.
This is where parish nurse programs, block nurse programs, social services, churches, synagogues and non-profits fit in. As our country has fought (and still is struggling) to provide adequate child care, we need to look for respite care for the millions of caregivers who are themselves getting sick from stress, loneliness and isolation. Give them a chance to go to a support group where like minded people understand. Where they can blow off steam.
A church group could find people who have a couple of hours to give, and match this person with a caregiver who can't have a moment alone. Block nurse programs train volunteers to do just that. Yet, caregivers are often too stressed to even search or ask for help. Click on the agencies and links page at mindingourelders.com mindingourelders.com and check out agencies that provide help. Call them. Ask for help. The life you save may be your own.
Sources: Mary Mittelman, DPH, New York University; Melinda S. Lantz, M.D., American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry, Clinical Geriatrics, Volumne 12, Noumber 11, November 2004.
A report on the research, conducted by scientists at Ohio State University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, appeared online June 30, 2003 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Authors are Drs. Janice K. Kiecolt-Glaser, Cathie Atkinson, William B. Malarkey and Ronald Glaser of Ohio State's College of Medicine and Drs. Robert C. MacCallum and Kristopher J. Preacher of UNC's department of psychology, College of Arts and Sciences
For over twenty years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Carol created a portable support group ? the book ?Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. Her sites, mindingourelders.com mindingourelders.com and mindingoureldersblogs.com mindingoureldersblogs.com include helpful links and agencies. Carol?s column, ?Minding Our Elders,? runs weekly, she speaks at many caregiver workshops and conferences and has been interviewed by national radio, newspapers and magazines.
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