Most of us know someone affected with Alzheimer's disease - one of the worst diseases to deal with because you never know when it is going to affect you, where, or why. It just raises its head and surprises you most of the time. I have always been a person to build a plan and work a plan - but when you are dealing with Alzheimer's - all that seems to go out the window.
So how does one plan for the holidays when you are dealing with Alzheimer's in the family? Many thoughts turn to the past, how we used to "make the holiday just perfect" and now we can't. It's hard to just relax and enjoy parties, knowing that any moment you may have to step in to take care of something unexpected.
I strongly believe we must focus on the positive things in life. Negative energy is too draining and too wasteful of the short time God has given us on earth. I hope the ideas below help you stay positive not only for the upcoming holidays but year-round. It's important to always find the balance between your needs and the needs of your loved one.
If you live with someone who has Alzheimer's, encourage them to be a part of your planning and preparation process. Back to the old "Build the plan, then Work the Plan" model, every plan has multiple steps. While you may be able to multi-task and get something done in minutes, it may take them a ½ hour. Know this in advance of your project so you will not be rushed in trying to get it done just as quickly as you could do yourself. The point is to spend quality time together, relax, and enjoy, not just to get it done. Keep the plan simple. Instead of baking the secret family cookie recipe of 20 ingredients, make cookies that require a lesser number of steps. (I am never too proud to buy the store-bought dough to make my life easier!) Break the cookie project into smaller pieces - ones that they can do and ones that you can do. It may be you measure the ingredients and they pour them into the bowl and stir for you. Be sure their assigned activities are based on their current abilities.
Keep decorations simple, staying away from blinking lights and sparkly displays. Keep parties simple and quiet as possible. When that is just out of the question, due to lively kids, loud TV, laughter, etc - find a corner in the house that your loved one can spend quiet time with one or two people at a time. Try to plan the party during their "good" part of the day.
Don't try to be all things to all people. Simplify tasks, say no, and make life easier! It is OK to not cook for the whole family; ask each of them to bring a dish. It is OK to not have the normal elaborate decorations; this year just a simple tree will do. It is OK to not bake 12 dozen cookies to give away to friends and relatives; a simple personalized card will do. It is OK to cut back on gifts as the most important gift is to spend time with each other. It is OK to skip the annual holiday zoo event and simply go for a nice quiet drive looking at all the lights on the houses. It is OK to ask a friend, relative or even an outside agency to stay with your loved one while you go to a holiday party.
Consider your needs as well. Bottom line: trust your judgment - only you know what your loved one and you can handle and when you need help. Don't fall to the pressure of society by trying to make everything perfect. None of us are perfect; the only real important thing is spending time with family and friends. It is what it is, make life easier and enjoy the moment! That is truly a gift!
Home Helpers provides non-medical personal care services similar to what is often provided by family members. Our services are designed to help people maintain their independence and avoid isolation. We provide up to 24 hour care to clients in their residential home or in a facility. To learn more about our services or to ask for our free newsletter, call our office at 513-754-1182 or 859-801-1510, or view our website at homehelpers.cc homehelpers.cc
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