One of the best investments a working woman can make is in a good nanny. A good nanny is worth every penny in the quality of life that she can provide you and your baby.
Above all, babies need love. Many people place a high value on socialization, but it has been my experience that socialization is overrated. Providing your child with consistent, loving care is much more important and will result in well adjusted children and a work life balance that you can enjoy. The following two scenarios are real life scenarios. They are just two out of many that I have witnessed.
Daycare
Dustin has been in daycare since he was one year old because his parents felt it was important that he be socialized. In daycare he learned to bite other children and that he had to throw huge temper tantrums to get the attention he wanted from his harried caregivers. Today Dustin is 4 years old and he is juggled between pre-school and daycare while his younger brother, Russ (1-1/2 years old), stays in daycare all day. Their father drops Dustin off at preschool most mornings and Dustin's grandmother picks both boys up from daycare most evenings and shuttles Dustin from preschool to daycare midday. Their mother drops Russ off at daycare in the mornings on her way to work.
They all spend a lot of time sitting in traffic. In the evening their mother has the boys watch TV while she prepares dinner because they always fight unless constantly supervised. She doesn't trust Dustin not to seriously hurt Russ and she feels like a referee. They have about an hour together while eating dinner before she lets them watch more TV while she does laundry, cleans the house and make lunches for the next day. Bedtime is usually a disaster because both boys hate going to bed since they have hardly had any time at all with their parents. Their dad usually deals with Dustin while mom puts Russ to bed.
Dustin is constantly getting in trouble at preschool. Recently, his parents were called in by school officials who were concerned about his behavior, particularly how he is purposefully bullying and hurting other kids. They feel that he is angry all of the time and said he needs more "Mommy" and "Daddy" time, meaning that he does not feel like he is getting enough love and attention. Meanwhile, Dustin's parents feel that their family life is completely out of control. They are barely managing the logistics of having two kids and would not be able to manage without the constant help of Dustin's grandmother to do some of the shuttling from place to place. They are very disappointed with Dustin because of the way he picks on his little brother and refuses to do anything they ask of him. Even worse, Russ is starting to act out as well. Although their top priority was to get the boys socialized, they rarely have play dates and they don't like to go out with the boys because they are so badly behaved.
Nanny
Claire's parents found a good nanny just before her mommy had to return to work when she was four months old. Her parent's top requirement was to find someone that would focus on Claire; both her development and to provide her with unconditional love. Claire's mother hated the idea that her baby would love someone else, but as she could not stop working, she wanted her baby to feel loved and secure above all things. Today their nanny takes care of both Claire (now four years old) and Mia (two). Claire's parents always miss the morning commute because they simply tell their nanny the day before what time they need her the next day. In addition, if both parents get stuck at work late, they simply call their nanny to let her know. During the day the girls play outside, learn about nature, ride tricycles, push their strollers around the neighborhood, draw, paint, make things with play dough, and many other enriching activities. Claire and Mia are fed healthy food that their Nanny cooks at home or prepares for little picnics at the park. She takes them to swim lessons, the discovery museum, and for play dates.
Due to the constant individual attention, both girls are very well behaved. Because their parents feel that the girls are learning more with their current routine than they will in preschool, they decided to skip preschool. While the girls are napping in the afternoon, their nanny cleans up the house and does laundry. She also defrosts and starts preparing food for dinner before leaving when Mom or Dad arrives home. When their mother gets home she fixes dinner while Claire and Mia read and play in their playroom. The girls rarely squabble as they are used to playing together and sharing. If they want more attention, then their mother seats them at the table in the kitchen with her where they talk, color or read. After dinner, and because most of the chores are already done, they all play together for an hour before it is time to get ready for bed. The girls enjoy their bedtime routine since they all get ready together. Because they share a room, their parents can usually hear the girls chatting together for a couple minutes before drifting off to sleep. Claire and Mia's parents love their family and the time they spend together. They feel both girls are well adjusted, well behaved and a delight to take on family outings. Both girls are comfortable playing with other kids their same age, as well as younger kids, older kids and adults.
In Conclusion
It has been my experience (raising three children that are close together in age) that my nanny is worth her weight in gold. I couldn't manage both my career and my family without her. In addition, she loves my children and I can trust that she would throw herself in front of a bus to save them should anything happen. We are a team, my husband, my nanny and me when it comes to raising our delightful children.
Not all nanny's are created equal. You need to find one that you can trust and who will provide your children loads of attention, strong guidance and lots of love. Keep looking until you find your perfect nanny. There are many online resources for finding nannies, like craigslist.org craigslist.org and sittercity.com sittercity.com. There are also local agencies, although they can be expensive. I have found that the very best resource is word of mouth, often leading you to a retired school teacher or someone who becomes available because their current young charges are grown and in school.
I have seen and interviewed many nannies for myself and for friends. Ask open ended questions when you interview them so that you can find out what their natural style is. I always ask them to tell me what a typical day with their charges is like. That way you can find someone whose natural style most closely aligns with your own. I recommend having at least one week of overlap with a new nanny to so that you can see her in action and ensure that your wishes are clearly understood. I also recommend popping in at random times for the first month or two to see if things are as they should be. Finally, if you have trust issues, install a nanny cam. My husband installed one hidden in a bookcase in our playroom as well as in the nursery. We stopped using it after a couple of months when we saw that our instructions were being followed. Some of the new nanny / surveillance cameras can be set up so that you can login from any computer and view what is going on in your home at any time during the day.
Copyright ? 2010 Julie Fagan
Julie Fagan founded A Briefcase Full of Diapers to help working women everywhere raise healthy children and achieve the best possible work-life balance. As a senior level manger in the high-tech industry with three healthy children, she has spent hours researching children's and maternal health topics. She has a wealth of information and experience to share with other working mothers and career women who are considering taking the plunge into motherhood. To read more articles by Julie and to learn more about her consulting services please visit her website at: briefcasefullofdiapers.com briefcasefullofdiapers.com
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