When my wife and I decided on baby adoption as a way to build our family, we discovered that whether you adopt through an adoption agency or go private, adopt a child internationally (China or Guatemala, let's say) or domestically, you go through 12 basic steps.
Step 1. You begin by learning about your options.
You discover who can adopt in your state or province, what age you must be, how many years you must be married to be eligible (if at all), what kinds of children are available, and so on.
Step 2. You decide what kind of adoption you want.
Next, you pick the type and method of adoption you want. You choose between a domestic adoption and an international adoption. And you decide if you will adopt privately, through your government-run children's protective services agency, or through an adoption agency.
Step 3. You find the money, or at least start.
International adoption is expensive, and private adoption can cost a fair amount as well. During this stage, you look at options for financing your adoption (loans, second mortgage, second job, grants, fundraisers).
Step 4. You choose your intermediary, whether adoption agency, facilitator or lawyer.
All adoptions in Canada and the United States, even private adoptions, are required by law to involve a social worker and lawyer at some stage.
Step 5. You complete an agency application form.
If you are adopting through an adoption agency, you complete their (lengthy!) application procedure. You interview with their staff, and discuss your goals and options.
Step 6. You complete your homestudy.
Regardless of the type of adoption you have chosen (private, facilitated, agency), you must complete a homestudy. A homestudy is both a process and a document that the government requires of all adoptive parents. It involves an inspection of your home, extensive questioning about your childhood, marriage, income and ability to parent, medicals and police checks.
Step 7. You participate in adoption classes.
If you are fostering, or adopting through the state, and even if you are adopting from abroad, you will take some introductory classes that prepare you for the arrival of your baby.
Step 8. You find your child, or have one selected for you.
This is perhaps the most exciting and exhausting stage, as it may take you weeks or months to find the child you are searching for, or for your agency to find that child for you. This step may involve meeting the birthparents.
Step 9. You prepare for your child's homecoming.
You buy a crib, diapers, formula, bottles, soothers, baby toys, and receive the, from family and friends. You read up on baby care.
Step 10. You receive your baby.
The big day arrives! An agency worker of person acting in an official capacity gives you your adopted child, you sign some papers, and head home with a brand new person strapped into a new card seat in your car. You pinch yourself a few times, believe me!
Step 11. You file a petition to adopt and finalize your adoption.
This is the formal procedure that you undergo to "petition" the government to adopt your new child. One day you go to court and sign a piece of paper, and your child is suddenly, legally yours, and you are suddenly, legally theirs. Take a book of Kleenex!
Step 12. You celebrate.
If you are like my wife and I, you throw a big party to celebrate your adoption finalization. It's like a second baby shower.
These steps, with a few changes here and there, are typical of all adoptions. Enjoy them!
Alan Sharpe adopted two boys and hasn't been the same since. He's thinking of creating a website and newsletter to help parents find adoption information about international child and baby adoption and other options.
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