Yesterday, an old friend contacted me, asking about placing his mother-in-law in an assisted living. However, after answering him in a series of emails, I realized that other people facing the same decision might be interested in the same information. Here's the interesting thing I discovered about myself in the process - my tone with him was different than if I were going to write for my blog or for an Ezine article. As a result, so were the tips that I would normally give - they were not very 'politically correct'. But thinking about it, I would not change a word.
In many ways, it was much better because of my mind set. I was focused on giving my friend advice rather than writing a "well written" article. So except for a few deleted lines that would identify my friend, here is some good advice about picking an assisted living:
Hi Donahue, How's everything? We need to catch up soon. Need your input - soon - We are looking at places (assisted living) for Mary's mom - she has continuing health issues primarily heart and respiratory. Would you look at the attachments and let me know your thoughts on these two places? Thanks so much, John
Hey John, I will look at the attachments closer later, but let me first highlight some important stuff to consider: First of all, if there is a non-refundable "community fee" of any kind, it is negotiable.
What is going to be more important than the room layout and the view and the transportation and all the other B.S., is how much care is going to cost. How do they charge for extra care? By levels of care? or by minutes? And when you find out - figure out what your maximum budget is, and what the most she will have to pay if she gets ALL their services.
Next, ask the facility about what would cause her to HAVE to move out? Ask them if they have a hospice waiver. (they are in California, so their rules are exactly like mine and I can tell you, if they do not have a hospice waiver, then when she gets towards the end, they will kick her out to a nursing home).
Ask them about house doctors (do they have a doctor that comes to the facility to see clients), and are home health happinesslifetime.com care agencies allowed in the building? and if so, do they require that you use theirs or if you can pick your own. I will explain why this important later.
Ask about wheelchairs. Are they allowed? What about motorized ones? Does mom have a dog or cat? Many place will let you bring it...for a fee. It too is negotiable.
The important thing to understand is how they charge between the room (and basic services) and care (optional services). They are much more likely to negotiate the room but they rarely negotiate care services. The best case scenario for you is to get them to lock in the rate for two years (or more). That is where they will try to screw you later, because they can raise their rent as much as they like. So make sure you trust the place. Anyway, think about this stuff and I will get back to you after I look at the marketing materials you sent me.
cheers, DV
The second round of emails really got interesting and some never revealed stuff about assisted living gets revealed, so stay tuned. Better yet, sign up at easycaregiving.com easycaregiving.com
Donahue Vanderhider, a Gerontologist practicing in Southern California, can be found at caregiverrelief.com caregiverrelief.com. Donahue has a deep understanding and extensive knowledge of Aging and all its related disorders: both normal and abnormal. He has a Masters Degree from USC and postgraduate training in Clinical Guided Imagery, Metaphysics, and Neuro-linguistic Programming. He is also on an advisory board to the Alzheimer's Association. His passion and life-long goal is to improve the quality of life of caregivers, especially those dealing with Alzheimer's. Currently his active blogs are at the site mentioned above.
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