Unfortunately, most of the circumstances I have witnessed, are connections made between cleaning "ladies" rather than men, as the elderly are more prone to bond to women they see as a day-to-day peer. Domestic help, who were formerly complete strangers, become uniquely poised to "cash in" on the elderly people's estates when they die.
Unfortunately, many of today's elderly remain in isolation, preferring to live by themselves in their homes. They opt out of living in retirement communities and visiting senior centers for daily activities. Many are self-conscious of how they have aged, are dealing with their infirmities, and remain isolated, alone. Sometimes, domestic assistants and care-givers are the only people they see on a regular basis.
Their families have moved away, and do not have, or are willing to take, time for them. Today's hectic schedules do not warrant caring for mom and dad, who live afar.
It is less costly to hire cleaning help, with visiting personnel including nurses, than move into an assisted living center. Living in solitude at home, the aged can do as they please, plus enjoy the company of their pets. Provided, of course, that there is incoming, consistent support.
The cleaning assistance enters into the scene almost insidiously, and become good listeners. As they wipe floors and sweep, carry out the trash, and in doing the laundry, they soon become an intimate, faithful friend. They are trusted and valued above the distant family member, who remains only remotely connected and involved.
Some household support people will make claims to be a distant relative, and invite the elderly person to their family picnic reunion. Faded minds may not recognize these calculated intents, and are grateful to be included socially.
The time will come when the person passes away, and there is a rush to clear out the estate. The household staff is ready to cash in. Concurrently, relatives are surprised to find the cleaning people are inheriting a sizeable part of the estate, and are listed as a primary beneficiary in the will.
When the home is cleared or auctioned, the domestic servants often are available to "help themselves" to odds and ends household items, because the family members are grateful and relieved to see it removed easily. The clearing out process can be daunting, much to the relief of the on-hand support, ready to benefit.
There is such a melee of items, that much of it can not be auctioned. Giving it away is the most obvious solution - the household assistance is there to haul it away, often serving as re-sellers, profiting themselves.
There must be a better solution to the "cleaning help cleans up" dilemma.
Siblings should carefully discuss with their aging parents their wishes for many of the household items' disposal. Specific items should be tagged for family members.
The various types of auctions charge 25% to 35% commission from the sale. Most items are sold for next-to-nothing, give-away prices, called dumping.
As we age, we might consider how we would like to dispose of our collections. Since our inheritors, which now could include your trusted domestic help, will pocket very little after the auction service fee, you might consider donating much of your household surplus to a local community service agency, school, animal humane society, or church before you pass away.
Nice pieces of jewelry, or heirloom china, can be given as piecemeal gifts and donations as you age. A grateful grandchild, niece, or even your helpful neighbor would appreciate your gift and remember you fondly for time to come. Or, make a legal request that this be done, placing it in your bank box or with an attorney.
These options may be better than having it land for sale on an auction table, selling for a few dollars at best, benefiting the auctioneer and the scheming, befriended cleaning lady, who you may have unwittingly made the estate's new primary beneficiary.
Too many household items can be over-powering, and too many of us lose our practical senses. Hanging on to items can offer memories of the past, but then, is it might be time to consider the future for practical intent.
Program Content Developer of The Bridge To Achievement, Educational Consultant, Workshop Trainer at Mem-ExSpan, Inc.; Attended the University of Texas, the University of Iowa, and graduated with B.S. degree in Education from Drake University, majoring in Education, Speech-Drama, and English. Minored in Science and Social Science. Taught grades K-8 in seven Midwestern public school districts. Received a Masters Degree in Special Education - Learning Disabilities from the University of Kansas, and 1980 formed the non-profit 501 C3 Educational Media Therapy Consultants, Inc. This was later changed to Innovative Learning Stratagems, Inc. a national consulting group offering teacher and parent informative workshops and student scholarships for cognitive skills retraining and sensory integration training.
Additionally, formed Mem-ExSpan, Inc. to develop educational cognitive skills retraining content through continuous classes to help individuals ages 9 to adult. Established thirteen national training-test sites, published and documented research from six experiments over five generational developmental levels. Five published longitudinal reports appeared in The Journal of Accelerated Learning and Teaching (JALT) with several demographic groups. See: my home page:
No comments:
Post a Comment